Friday Sharing w/You

Friday, December 2

2016 FSY Week 49 - Be FSY

Hooray! it’s Friday !

A new month.  A new Friday and I’m excited to share with you more …

Today is my Six-0 birthday and also mythirtythirdwedding anniversary.

To my wife – One by one each year flew by since we both said ‘I do’ 33 years of memories, shared by the two of us. From big events and holidays to simple daily pleasures. Some painful and struggles times along the way, some joys that can’t be measured. One by one each year now gone, but still they’re our forever each and every memory, of 33 together! Happy thirtythird Anniversary.

Quick Quotable

All great achievements require time

 

Quick Question

2016 Ending soon. What would make 2017 awesome for you?

 

Today Sharing:

@60 Part: #5 – Birthdays are hard for an Orphan

My gratitude to all those who have passed through my life, be it in a positive or negative manner. Everyone has contributed, in some way, to the substance that makes up my 60 years on this planet.

Birthdays are hard for an Orphan.

I hardly celebrate my birthday because, as I mentioned in my wishes to all my Facebook friends, your birthday should be your mom’s day, and we should celebrate it with our moms. That is the truest purpose of birthday. (Read the birthday wishes at the end)

 

Most people don’t like to mention about their mom’s death because it might upset part of their life and dreams. My mom passed away when she was 49. I was just 14 years old then. 3 years later my dad also passed away. They said loving couples will part together. My dad died on the 9th day of the Chinese New Year (CNY). That was the day the Hokkien’s people celebrate their Birthday, ‘Bai Tian Gong’, which literally means ‘praying to the Heaven God’.

It’s hard enough to lose one parent, but to have my dad die on CNY when everyone was celebrating… it was like a punch to the gut.

Suddenly I become an orphan – The song ‘Nobody’s Child’ became my favorite from then on, till today. 

Click to listen to the song

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bs9Lt1QEyLA

Grief is a place none of us know until we lose our parents.

The pain hit me in waves, knocking me off my feet, and most days, I just wanted to stay away from people.

For years I try to keep my grief inside me. On  the outside, I seemed to be (F)Functioning perfectly, a (S)Strong and (Y)Youthful person but internally I was (F)Fearful, (S)Struggling, (Y)Yelling for an outlet to let go all this grief inside me.  My silence led to isolation, smoking and drinking became my solace. I drank one large bottle of black beer – Guinness Stout every night before I called it a day. During my army National Services (NS) years, I stayed almost every weekend in the camp, buying all the exact weekends duties just to be alone by myself. Beers are damn cheap for the army boys during our NS time, and each of us was entitled to purchase one carton of beers per month. For those nondrinkers, it is an added carton for me for my weekend. Alcohol eventually entered my blood, and that I think that accidently change my blood type to “Q” – Qualipreneur of today. 

Every Chinese New Year, I try to put a happy face but deep inside there is a faulty valve in need to repair and when I grow older I developed  better coping techniques. There are many useless condolences – it’s has been said, ‘You will be okay’ or ‘time heals all wounds.’ I do not agree. The wounds remain, you can forgive, but you hardly forget.  Everyone struggles, experiences pain, and process it in a different way. Some hide it well, other show it once in a while. There is no right or wrong way of coping. It is an individual personal experience. We all experience it. It is okay to hide it. Life goes on… Just make the ‘if’ in your life smaller. The middle word of LIFE is an ‘if’. Oops! Now you realize and understand that our life is all the while make off by an ‘if’ – some make it bigger and become deadwood. I hope yours is as small as possible. (refer to pictures on my website or Facebook)

 2016 FSY Week 49a - IF can be smaller

After I got married and settled down, I gave myself permission to deal with whatever grief inside me. With my family support, I forgot the pain and loss and dived into furthering my education. For almost 20 years, most of my night and weekends are either in a classroom or group studies until I got not one, but 2 advanced diplomas, and later, my BBA. If I didn’t spend five years learning the English language in British Council, I might not have been able to write this Friday sharing posting and shared so many stories with you.  Just amazing how the English Language can make Quality Work; Quality Life prevail.  If you disagree ask Jack Ma of Alibaba.  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ewOiewnOfc4

Longer version

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y7WjgFRxpdo

 

Another thing I have learned is that you have to seek your path to walk; you don’t need to follow the ready-made path others created. You create your own pathway. It is not easy to reach the ultimate peak. But every step that you take, your next footsteps will create the (F)Fun, (S)Special (Y)Younique path that you have chosen. 

That’s why I love taking walks alone, especially in the mountains. One thing for sure if you throw a problem at nature when you’re talking a stroll, you’ll walk out with the problem solved and you can create many metaphors that you can apply in life. Here is one for you – ‘In nature, you see monkeys swinging from tree to tree. They swing but they don’t leave any footprints. You cannot follow them because they don’t leave any footprints behind.’ I hope this metaphor make some sense, other metaphors for another time. In short, metaphors are cognitively important. It’s frequently used in today’s populist politics usages – it used to be ‘Hope & Change’ wins, today it’s ‘Angry & Change’ wins… we can explore that, it will be a story for another time.

Birthdays are hard for an orphan because I don’t have my mom beside me.

That one reason I go to temple and pray to Tai Sui & my Protector (refer to pictures on my website or Facebook)

 2016 FSY Week 49b - My protector

Our birthday should be our mom’s day, if your mom is still alive, please celebrate it with her. That is the truest purpose of your birthday. Please don’t wait. There is nothing more urgent enough that you can’t take the day off to be with her. Take my word for it. I still miss my mom till today.

For those who have work with me, you have noticed that I hardly work on my birthday. The reason? I go to Bukit Timah Hill on my birthdays, to be with solitude, I am satisfied with loneliness and who I am – A (F)Funny,  at times, (S)Serious & (Y)Younqiue person surviving the last 6 decades in an awesome planet.

The death of my Mom and Dad left a heartache no one can heal, but my family Love leaves a memory no one can steal.  LOVE – Do you ever take a moment to stop and let that really sink in? LOVE.

 

Below is the message  I wished my FB friends

The ABCD of Birthday in Twenty-16 (2016):

Birthdays are not just about a change of date, but about (A)Awareness. Don’t forget your mom who nurtured and loved you. She carried you, sustained you, sharing her sustenance with you through your umbilical cord.

Birthdays are not about changing the calendar, it’s about when you are (B)Born. The cord is severed, but it is never severed in her heart. That bond lasts forever.

Birthdays are not about celebration, it is about (C)Caring for your mother. You grew as an organism inside her for nine months.

Birthdays are not about how many gifts you will receive, or blowing how many candles. It is about (D)Delectation with your mother, a hug, a kiss or a call if you are not near her. No gift to your mother can ever be equal her gift to you.

Your birthday should be your mom’s day, go ahead and celebrate with your mom. That is the truest purpose of birthday.

Have a (F)Fulfilling (S)Smiling & (Y)Younique renewed Birthday in Twenty-16

I hope this will change the way we celebrate birthdays.

 

Thank for reading

I write for myself & for my grandchildren but if the story helps you, share it around. As always, thank you & (F)Friday (S)See (Y)You…… here again.

 

Please join me in advocating:

Make Money & Love Safety

赚钱第一; 安全在我心! & 明天一定会更好!加油哦

Jana Wang, Cinta Keselamatan

 

谢谢; Thanks;  感恩:Ganen

With Gratitude

 

Grateful (感恩:Ganen) Today, Joyful Tomorrow… fsy

 

It’s no secret that gratitude (感恩:Ganen) leads to more gratitude.

 

Until We Meet Here Next Friday… Be FSY (F)Friendly (S)Strong & (Y)Youthful.

 

Click to continue reading… http://www.qualipreneur.com/category/friday-sharing/

 

Acknowledgements

My FSY’s sharing is unscientifically and some are contributed by wife & children, friends, acquaintances. I write and share things that matter to me. I understand that everyone has their own opinions, views, & thoughts. There are no right or wrong answers. Nothing is true or untrue, most facts and data can be twisted to your favour.

To the authors, contributors and original sources, my thanks and where appropriate my apologies if I forget to quote your names.  If I took a page from your generous sharing and tweaked it into something else, something I hope will spread and the whole purpose is for sharing and sharing is caring.